I’ve been fighting a mystery illness for about four years now. I’ve begged Doctors to dig into it but other than treat the symptoms they have always brushed me off and told me I was overreacting.

In January of this year it all came to a head and I started suffering with one or multiples of my symptoms on an almost daily basis. Luckily, being with a new Doctors surgery I finally had a Doctor who listened and believed that there was something bigger going on and so a string of testing began.

Now, during all of this I got too sick to work and haven’t been able to since. Now I really intelligently went to work for a company who don’t insure their staff against long term illness so if you are ill then tough shit. Now short term that’s a struggle. Long term like nearly 6 months long term and its ended up with us losing the car, almost losing our home and I’ve even had to quit my job and start working freelance because I can’t afford to be off sick any longer and they won’t let me back without the Drs sign off which I can’t get yet. Oh yes, and the only nice thing they did for me during the whole time I was ill (and only after i tried killing myself) is now biting me in the ass and will end up as an invoice and no final pay…thanks then! Three years of loyalty down the pan!

Too be honest though who wants to work for a company who would rather see their staff go into mental and financial demise than actually offer proper benefits. At least now I’m working freelance I have full control.

I have got a diagnosis now but it can only be controlled by diet as its something called Histamine Intolerance so I can’t eat anything interesting anymore or drink alcohol again or basically live life in any way. Restaurants are certainly out going forward! I’ve now got anaemia and vitamin D deficiency and my depression is running rampant aswell and I’m avoiding my doctor because I can’t afford sick notes.

To top it all off I don’t have money to pay the rent or bills, I’ve been borrowing money for food from my parents. This isn’t how a 33 year old should be living their life.

This is no life.

I wouldn’t wish my life on anybody.

After 4 years of fighting for answers this isn’t how I thought it would feel to finally know what was wrong and how to move forward. Unfortunately, other circumstances have totally blinded my joy at having answers at last and that those answers aren’t the horrendous things that I had been prepared for by the doctors. It’s amazing how in a few months your entire life can get completely ripped apart.

I have people I blame but ultimately I blame myself. I should never have taken a job somewhere without proper employee benefits, I’ve never done that before and I was an absolute idiot for not doing it this time and I have definitely learned my lesson the hard way! There is no excuse!

So this is it, my final entry on the blog. What comes next I’m not sure. I have some freelance work and hopefully it’s not too little too late. It feels like it could be, but we will see.

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First up, the Murdoch Empire has acquired the remainder of DMG Radio Australia, making Lachlan’s investment company Illyria the sole owner. Murdoch had originally shelled out $110 million for the first 50%, and has most recently thrown another $100 million to the coffers of UK publishing company Daily Mail and General Trust (DMGT). Analysts are indicating that down the track, there could be some sort of merger between DMGRA and the Ten Network. Murdoch is also the Chairman of Ten.

In other merger and takeover news, you would likely have heard about the recent takeover Universal made of EMI and Warner Music. Universal is a British company, and a result of the takeover has been the stepping-down of the CEOs of the recorded music arms of both EMI and Warner. Lyor Cohen, who came to light in the ’80s as manager for Run DMC and the Beastie Boys has been with Warner for the past eight years.

Australia’s The Music Network is running a competition at the moment, where you can win a copy of the 2013 Rock’n'Roll Diary: featuring the work of rock photographer Tony Mott, who has shot keystone acts like Nirvana, Iggy Pop, and the Rolling Stones. The diary features over 200 colour photographs. You can enter by clicking here. All you need to do is reveal the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever written in a diary. Not something I’d do!

In Aussie touring news we are facing some mega acts between now and early next year. One which I am MASSIVELY excited about is Motley Crue + KISS! No details yet, however.

Of things that I DO have details, a “brief” listing is below. These gigs are Australia-wide, but most big shows are on the Eastern seaboard, so all you South and West Aussies miss out. Of course. A full guide with cities, venues and dates is available here.

SEPTEMBER

• Fear Factory
• High on Fire
• Ulcerate, Ignivomous, Odiusembowel, Departe
• Shihad
• Lord

OCTOBER

• Warbringer
• Steel Panther
• Cannibal Corpse
• Fuck the Politics Fest in Victoria (Lord, Make Them Suffer, As Silence Breaks)
• Bastardfest (Psycroptic, Blood Duster, Fuck… I’m Dead)
• Whiplash Festival in Sydney (Mnemic, Meraurder, Unearthly)
• At the Gates

NOVEMBER

• At the Gates
• Voyager
• Bastardfest continues
• Between the Buried and Me, Animals as Leaders
• Blaze Bayley & Paul Di’Anno

DECEMBER

• Blaze Bayley & Paul Di’Anno
• Dark Funeral

JANUARY

• Nightwish, Sabaton
• Cock and Ball Torture
• Hypocrisy
• Alestorm

… and then we get to festival season! Including Soundwave, featuring Metallica, Linkin Park, Slayer, Anthrax, Dragonforce, Stone Sour, and shitloads more.

So until next time get your metal on! Stay tuned for some nice little features I have in mind about some of the undergrounders in the Aussie metal scene.

1. This single which is split between these two unsung heroes of death metal; Sathanas and Spawn of Satan give us a taster of these bands from 1988.

Tracklisting

1. Spawn of Satan – Ritual Murder
2. Sathanas – Unholy Eternal

You can stream a preview of this from: http://hellsheadbangers.bandcamp.com/album/spawn-of-satan-sathanas-split-7-ep

Bestial Warlust are releasing their Satan’s Fist – Demo 96 on vinyl and limited edition CD. This is a rare find and will be a bonus to any black metal collection.

Tracklisting:

1) “Left for Vultures”

2) “Hell’s Militia”

3) “Satan’s Fist”

Exclusive streaming preview available at http://hellsheadbangers.bandcamp.com/album/satans-fist